Dear ,

This month felt the right time to write about a topic I am "carrying" with me for a while.

We all want peace, don’t we? One big wish most people share is to live a peaceful life. Strangely enough, as soon as something happens that disturbs our peace, we react with resistance and fighting.

And we really believe that peace can finally be reached again through quarrels and fights. This is what we are told, what rulers fool us into – that peace is something we must fight for, that peace is a result of war. Isn’t that crazy?  

Let me share with you some of my favorite quotes about peace:

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.” - Albert Einstein
“There is no way to peace, peace is the way.” - Mahatma Gandhi
„You can only have peace if you give it.” - Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach


In these last couple of years our world has become more and more a kind of battlefield. And no, I do not refer to the present war as there has never been a year in the past 100 years without a war somewhere. I refer to the war between simple human souls, a situation creating an increasing dynamic of victims and perpetrators.

In family constellations, when we access the level of the unconscious, the victim and perpetrator dynamic always shows a very clear picture. We can witness that these two are always entangled. They are drawn towards each other and connected through a very strong bond that can go back generations. If this dynamic is not solved, new generations of victims and perpetrators will follow, often with reversed “roles”. As a consequence, both move further and further away from real peace.

The tragedy is that very often, it is a third party hindering the process of finding a new balance through justice and atonement. And this third party is the “indignant”.

This third party is everyone who is seemingly on the side of “good” and “right” and who is fighting evil and injustice.

These “indignants” turn themselves into lawyers for the victims, behave as if they were the victims and claim the right to demand satisfaction from the perpetrators. They portray themselves as the good guys and take the freedom to punish the perpetrators without fear of bad personal consequences – of course, because their evil deeds appear in the light of good. And usually, they are not satisfied until they have destroyed and humiliated the perpetrators.

The sad thing is that most of the times all this aggravates the suffering of the victims because the indignants’ war against the perpetrators usually has worse emotional, physical, social and/or economical consequences for the victims than the original conflict.

How often have we been “indignants” in these past years or all through our life? How often did we act as if WE were the victims and not our friends, colleagues, neighbors, clients or other fellow human beings?

When we hear and notice what happens to others it is very easy to slip into the role of the indignant. It is like a kind of automatic reaction, but it is also very arrogant, because we act as if we knew without knowing anything, especially not what is happening on the unconscious level. And many times, we could make things worse, for the other person and other people involved.

If we want peace – for ourselves and the others, there is only one way – and you can find it in the quotes above.

If we don’t know what to do, then we can ask ourselves: What would LOVE do?

Acting from a place of love and compassion, acting from the heart, and embracing both, victims and perpetrators helps us to find the right words, questions, and actions.

Looking for simple and non-dramatic ways that make it possible for victims and perpetrators to find compensation and reconciliation we support the process of settling conflicts and wars and finally find a solution leading to peace and a new beginning.

Another way to contribute to peace is to detect the “indignants” and to stop supporting them, maybe by shining a light on the consequences of their actions. And of course, to prevent any indignant from interfering in our own personal affairs.

Peace can only be reached through peace, and it ultimately starts within our own heart.

May peace be with you not only in the month of September but in all the years to come.

In the spirit of love and reconciliation



October 2022 - MALTA

Family Constellation Weekend “Coming Home”


Friday (evening) 7th, Saturday 8th and Sunday 9th October

Location: Mellieha

Own constellations are fully booked and waiting list is open.


There are still spaces for representatives, so if you decide to join us, please register as soon as possible.


I am very much looking forward to seeing familiar and new souls


November 2022 – CLUJ / ROMANIA

Family Constellation Weekend “Allow change to happen”

Saturday 26th and Sunday 27th November

“IKWE Yoga Studio”, Strada Mihai Veliciu 9

If you want to participate as issue-holder or representative, you can already safe your space through the link below.

For any questions, please get in touch with me.


1to1 Healing Sessions


Next possible spaces can be pre-registered for November 2022.

If you would like to book a 1to1 session please get in touch through this link for registration 1TO1 HEALING SESSIONS

You can also go with me on a special "HEALING JOURNEY" that consists of 4 separate 1to1 sessions and reconnects you with your roots, allowing you to become aware of entanglements, hidden loyalties and healing what there is still unsolved in your relationship with mother and father.


Any questions you might have, please feel free to contact me.


Thank you for your trust and for allowing me to be part of your life journey

In the spirit of love and reconciliation,





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Ursula Maria Bell
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